y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
