I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
