May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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