im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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