She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize