I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
