Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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