I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
