no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
