how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
