Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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