She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
