I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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