My pussy is not your playground.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
