ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
