Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
