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Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
