Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
