So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
did i just pee glitter
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
