Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
