so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
