if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize