her vagine was all disorganized.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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