Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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