I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
