i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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