Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
