Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
