go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The feeling are messing with the penis
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
