Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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