when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
