You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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