So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
