you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think your dad took our porno
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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