once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize