I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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