I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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