I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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