ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
