I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
