The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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