He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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