evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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