With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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