I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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