she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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