its not stalking. its research.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Everyone says I win the strip club
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
