D3 body, D1 cock
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
