I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
