i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
