I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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