It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
