dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
