The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
