People in love make me want to vomit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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