shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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