Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
