Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
