I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
