After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
