Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize