i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
