I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
