So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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