With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
