I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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