biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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