Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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