I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
