I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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