Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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