Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
